I HAVE A TITLE

I began my new job as the Social Service Director in August of 1999.  I did not have a clue what to do as all my experience had been with Substance Abuse and I was embarking on the mentally retarded and physical disabilities.  I was familiar with individuals having mental retardation but not those with the physical disabilities (to include abnormally long tongues, blindness, etc).  WOW!!! Well my assistant was supposed to be training me but in essence she was sabotaging me.  She was my mother's age and felt as though I was too young to be telling her what to do.  Her exact words, "I have a son your age."  I enjoyed my job but I hated going to work because of her.  I was quitting in 90 days, I was quitting in six months, I was quitting in a year, well you get the point.  At the end of my first year and after my evaluation, I cursed my assistant out, told her that I was her boss and I made the final decisions on what was going to occur and asked her to get out of my office. Needless to say, I stayed at that job for 6 1/2 years because I enjoyed my job and the money was good.  At the end of year six, it seems like the devil got very busy in the workplace.  I allowed him to take over and I resigned in February 2006.  I was working a part-time job where I was making just as much money on as I was from my full-time job.  I was happy and enjoying my existence.  Oh I forgot during this time I'd met several men but settled down with the "maintenance man."  I had separated from my daughter's father in 2000 and became involved with the "maintenance man" in November 2001.  Not my ideal man, he was short in stature and very solid (almost fat).  However, he catered to my every need and want as well as my daughter.  Never had this before- a new experience.  Someone cared about what I wanted and needed.  Well I gave birth to my second child, a son, in October 2004.  My ready made family was complete with the exception of the marriage component.  I wasn't feeling the marriage thing- I was good without it.  He wanted to get married but I had fear of marriage because my mother had been married three times and I saw (in my mind) three failed marriages.  I did not want to be a repeat of my mother so I preferred not to get married.  In addition, my "maintenance man" was a rebel and I wasn't sure that I wanted to marry him even though I loved him.  What to do?????