Monday, October 13, 2014

Branding Myself

I have been asking myself a question....  How am I supposed to brand myself when I don't know who I am and what I want???  I am re-learning who I am outside working on a dissertation, my children, and my husband.  Who is Demetria???   What does Demetria want???  Who does Demetria desire to help??  Who does Demetria desire to empower????  Does Demetria want to be rich???  Or does Demetria want to be well-off successful, healthy, and have peace of mind??  All these are questions which I have and/or have been presented with over the past few weeks since learning that I have to narrow my specialty.   I have learned that I enjoy helping people through supporting and empowering them.  I have learned that I enjoy helping people who want to help themselves.  I have learned that everybody that says they want better doesn't always mean it.  I have learned that I am successful with those whom I help who actually had a goal.  I have learned that it is not always about money but making a difference.

In learning to narrow down my specialty or my "niche,"  I do know that I enjoy coaching and I enjoy working with teenage girls, women, and couples.  I have narrowed my niche to these few so know I must learn how to be most valuable with these populations.  In order to do this my mind must be clear.  Ha Ha!!  My mind is never clear so this is a task within itself.  I am putting myself on a time schedule to have this goal completed by:  November 15th.  My target market will be identified and I will be able to spot my potential "tribe."  Looking for successful, motivated, self-starting women who have gotten lost in the rat race just like me.  It's always easier for me to get someone to the next level but have difficulty following my own advice.  Oh well, work to do- on myself!!!!

Tuesday, October 7, 2014


There are a variety of relationships which exist; intimate, spiritual, friendship, work-related, associates, and partnerships.  Relationships consist of individuals who are connected; individuals who have a bond or an alliance; individuals who are associated with one another; the state of being connected.   Relationships work when you are honest with the people whom with your relationship(s) exist.  If you are honest, it allows the recipient to process the information which has been given to them, positive or negative.   Sometimes within the relationships when people are not honest, it allows for ill feelings and produces negative results.  There are always people who are willing to help and support “your” cause if they have a relationship with you.  However, you cannot allow jealousy, envy, strife, and lies to enter the relationship.  You are supposed to be happy for people who have positive outcomes.  What God has for you is for you and what God has for them is for them.  Even though your paths may intersect, you are not always intended to travel down the same road to reach the same destination.  In traveling your path/journey, ensure that you do not burn bridges.  Once bridges are burnt oftentimes they can’t be repaired even if the person/ people forgive you.  All relationships have a season.  Try not to hang on to a relationship which you have outgrown or that has outgrown you.  Everyone has a spot in your life whether it is for a minute or an eternity.  Always remember the lessons (good and bad) that you have been taught by the people you came into contact with.  Cherish the good memories and try not to “hang-on” to the bad memories.  Although you may never forget them, don’t allow them to stunt your growth.  Prioritize your relationships so that you know your role in all the relationships which you exist and/or co-exist.  Prioritize the importance of each relationship to your well-being and health.  If it’s not a good relationship, let it go.  If you have difficulty letting go, pray and ask God to give you the strength to move on.  Make room for happy and healthier relationships.  Life is too short to be unhappy.  Live, Laugh, and Love!!!

Saturday, October 4, 2014


Transformation has been my way of life and my term for 2014.  This year began with thoughts, plans, and goals in mind- all of which would be achieved before the year's end.  We are in the last quarter of 2014-some goals were achieved and some are yet to be fulfilled.  I have learned a multitude of how transformation can be defined. By dictionary it is defined as a marked change in form, nature, or appearance; a process by which one figure, expression, or function is converted into another one of similar value.  Webster's dictionary defines transformation as an act, process, or instance of change in structure appearance or character; a conversion, revolution, makeover, alternation, or renovation.

With all the definitions associated with transformation, I can raise my hand when asked:  Have you been transformed?  My answer is yes and I am still undergoing my transformation.  There are personal, emotional, spiritual, and career transformations which an individual can undergo.  I reflected on my growth in the past five years and most recently over the past five or six months.  I have always been very independent not asking or relying on anyone for help or assistance.  I had the "I can do everything myself" attitude.  I have always prided myself on being able to be independent and do all things myself (or so I thought).

At the beginning of 2014 I started a counseling agency (A Work In Progress, LLC) and made the decision to take a quicker route by subcontracting with an individual/agency who was already a Medicaid provider instead of working my way through the process.  I thought I'd asked all the "right" questions when we met prior to beginning to provide services.  We began providing services in February 2014 doing individual counseling, group counseling, CSI services, parenting for fathers, and an anger management group for children.  We consistently provided services only to find out in June that the provider we were subcontracting with did not have her credentials in order and all billing was rejected.  I was hurt, angered, shocked, broke, broken, confused, and broke!!!

I had just started back regularly attending church in May 2014 so I was not in tune with my spiritual self.  My fleshly self was telling me all kind of evil things I need to do- I had an office to pay for, household bills to pay, children to take care of, and more importantly employees to pay for services rendered.  YES I WAS IN PANIC MODE!!!!!!  My sister/friend had been telling me for years that I needed to talk to God, pray (daily), and find me a good church home.  I heard her but didn't hear her.  Well I started to going to several churches and found a church (Church of Perfecting Saints) that I really enjoyed attending and was learning.  I have made this my church home (not officially).  Well, I had just started attending church regularly so I was trying to get "right" but this experience was wanting me to do and handle things opposite of what I was learning.  I began praying frequently throughout the day and daily asking God for strength, patience, and knowledge on what to do to help me with what I was feeling and what I was going through, the whirlwind (downward spiral) occurring around me and involving me).  All I can say is that the statement is true-"Prayer Changes Things And People!!!!"

I am still A Work In Progress but I have been transformed and continue to be transformed daily.  I realize that I am not in control of anything, God is!!  Everything happens in God's timing.  I realize that I was broken down to be rebuilt with God's design and his plan in mind for my life and those who I come in contact with.  I realize that I don't have to do everything alone; I have a spouse, family and friends who are willing to listen and help.  I realize that life is a series of processes and we must be able to "deal with" life as it happens.  I realize that karma is real and I am grateful that I recognize karma.  Therefore, I treat people the way I want to be treated and/ or if I don't deal with them, I speak and keep it moving.  Speaking doesn't cost me anything.  I was initially angry and resentful about the events which took place and how they took place but it became an eye opening and humbling experience.  My transformation has been one of my greatest joys over the past few months.  My transformation has caused a positive transformation within my immediate family; better communication, a peace, a calm, and growth as a family.  I am truly learning who I am, learning how to ask for help, learning how to sit still and learning how to listen for God's guidance and wisdom in all decisions that I make.  This is a good space to be in and look forward to each day and the opportunities the days present.  Are you being conformed or transformed???