NOT MY FIRST CHOICE

Not my first choice but my best choice.   After a conversation with my pastor and my husband last night, I reflected back to when I first met the young man who became my husband.  I was at a sale minding my own business trying to get a deal not a man.  I gave this young man my business card which included the telephone number to my office vs. my home number because I had no intentions with communicating with him outside of business hours.  Only to arrive to work the following Monday morning with an answering service with numerous messages where he’d tried to contact me.  I was uninterested due to him being short and “chunky” and him being in a relationship with someone.  He was not my ideal man but he was persistent in his pursuit of me.  I was not interested but flattered by his pursuit.  Regardless of what I desired, he made it happen- morning, noon, or night.  He originally was the maintenance man but became the main man and eventually my Boaz.  We have been together over fifteen years with numerous transitions (good, bad, and indifferent) throughout those years.  He changed because he desired to change and I changed because I desired to change.  We both were perfectly flawed people (he had more flaws than I did lol) who agreed and later vowed to make our union work.  People do not change unless they want to change regardless of how much people desire a change for them.  I recall having a conversation with my husband when we were “friends” and my telling him that I couldn’t be with him because I had a career and refused to lose my career over a man with his profession (at that time).  From that point forward, he began to change and transition so that he could secure what he wanted (me).  He came from a dysfunctional upbringing and environment so to get a man to change or a man desiring to change was/is a big deal.  I was used to argue (all the time) prior to getting in a relationship with him but this was something that he wouldn’t allow.  I would argue, he would walk out and leave the house.  I attempted to argue, he would walk out and leave the house.  Eventually I stopped arguing because you can’t argue by yourself and felt stupid standing up there by myself.  Not to say that we are perfect and don’t have disagreements but we say what we have to say to each other and agree to disagree or agree to talk about it and then let it go.  We don’t harbor resentment for one another or our past and we apologize to each other when necessary.  Neither one of us is always right (even though I’d like to think I’m always right, lol).  We have learned a lot from each other and grown together, especially in the past two years.  Once we invited God into our relationship and marriage we became unstoppable.  There are many who through word of mouth, social media, and the likes have separated us and divorced us while we’re solid as a rock.  It’s amazing what happens when you allow God to lead you and your marriage.  Who would have EVER thought that Garry Cannady would stop drinking, partying, and be ordained a Deacon.  I surely never thought it!  With love, constant pushing and motivation, along with a good support system even the roughest of the roughest can transition into someone amazing.  He was not my first choice but he was my best choice.  He is my BOAZ and there’s nothing that I or anyone else can do it about it.  Would I trade him for another?  No because we have taught each other a number of things on this journey we have taken together.  Most importantly we have taught our children what a healthy relationship and love looks like.  Doc Dee