FRUSTRATION

Okay, it has been about two weeks since my last post.  Not that I didn't want to post but time didn't allow or I was just too aggravated to do so (perfect time to write).  It has been a very stressful two weeks.  No one seems to understand my stress level but me.  It is difficult for me to express this to my husband because he wants to fix everything and he can't.  He gets more stressed when I am stressed so I deal with it and process it on my own.  I am still trying to get my mentor to accept my revisions so she can forward my proposal info to my dissertation committee.  This situation is so aggravating that if I was a quitter, I would have definitely given up by now.  Since I am not a quitter I continue to press forward even though I feel as though I am sinking in quicksand.  I re-submitted again and she (mentor) made another "slight" revision and noted that I was almost there.  I have been at this since October ('10) trying to get "almost there."  In my mind with hard work and perseverance I would be finished with my dissertation in a year.  My academic advisor laughed at me and now I know why.  I know this is a process but I did not expect it to be this stressful of a process.  All I can say is Lord continue to give me the strength to endure.

In addition to the stress of my dissertation, my pre-teen daughter thinks that the world owes her something.  She feels that she can do nothing around the house yet be able to go when and where ever she pleases (because her friends mommas let them go).  I just don't know why she doesn't get it.  I have tried explaining different things and scenarios to her (over and over again) but it doesn't seem to click.  She decided to walk from school to Hungry Howies (on a major highway)with her friends.  The first day I didn't say anything even though I really wanted to fuss.  That nut tried it again the next day, school officials got involved because they were supposed to be in study hall while they were on their little walk.  She got in the car crying - for one because her favorite teacher busted her and two she got caught.  It was a scenario for a whole week.  I guarantee that won't happen again.  She'll think twice before she decides to follow her friends again (I hope).

We inherited our God child (as though there is not enough going on).  She cries all the time and is scared of everything.  She is two years old and somewhat delayed.  She is not potty trained and doesn't like feeding herself.  It is so much easier to do it for her and get it over with but that doesn't help her.  WHEW!!!!!  I don't know if this is a test of my endurance or my whatever but..........

My husband- his blood pressure stays sky high, he's gotten laid off, he's getting depressed because he's not working and aggravating the hell outta me (not on purpose but).  It is difficult trying to get a grown man to understand the importance of sitting his ass down and not stressing about things that he has no control over.  On the bright side, he is drawing unemployment!!!!  He doesn't view it this view.  It is hard to keep myself upbeat when I am trying to keep everyone else upbeat.  All I can say is "I AM TIRED."  Peace be still and I will continue to press forward.