Forgiveness

      Forgiveness – to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has something wrong); to stop blaming (someone); to stop feeling anger about (something); to forgive someone for (something wrong); to stop requiring payment of (money that is owed) (www.merriam-webster.com).  For Christians, forgiveness is essential.  Forgiveness is important because you may block your blessings by harboring anger and resentment for an individual who has possibly moved on without caring, knowing, or acknowledging that you’re angry or resentful towards them.  If Jesus died on the cross for all our sins, why are we unable to forgive a person who has angered or hurt us?  One reason is because we’re human and we often succumb to our fleshly selves, myself included.

      As a child, I remember hearing and saying, “I will forgive you but I won’t forget.”  I said this well into adulthood also.  It was only in recent years that I learned how to truly forgive.  Forgiveness is a challenging task but doable with a lot of prayer.  Even after we have forgiven there is still much work to do.  We must acknowledge our feelings associated with the forgiveness.  What are we to do with these feelings because we must acknowledge how we feel, especially to say that we have truly forgiven the person or the act.  As we see in the definition, the emotions associated with forgiveness is associated with feelings of anger, blaming, hurt, and resentment toward someone or something.  Even when we have forgiven and prayed for forgiveness, we find that this is an ongoing task; you can’t pray about it once and say that you have forgiven and all will be well.  You must continuously pray for strength and ask to be uplifted, especially if the hurt was deeply rooted.   We will not forget how that person or situation made us feel but the goal is to not allow for bitterness to sink in. 

      When we are confronted with the situation or the environment that has angered us, caused us pain, made us angry and resentful, the feelings will resurface, sometimes immediately and sometimes sporadically over time.  There are times when you can avoid the person, place, or thing but there may be situations which catch you off guard and this will be a test of whether you have truly forgiven.  The older I get and the more spiritual I become the more I refuse to allow others to affect my happiness and/ or block my blessings.  I come to find that I remove myself from all people and situations which cause me discomfort, stress, or that which may make me feel angry or resentment.  There are times when you can share with/confront the person making them aware on how they angered and hurt you and this helps in the process of solidifying forgiveness (because you have spoken your peace/ shared your feelings).  There will be times when the person refuses to apologize or acknowledge that they have hurt you.  They may simply say, “deal with it,” or “oh well.”  Take responsibility for your part within the situation, forgive yourself, and move forward- do not stay stagnant in the unforgiveness.  In these moments, you must move forward forgiving them and move forward with your life with or without the individual(s).  As stated forgiveness is for you, your mental well-being, and so that you won’t block any blessings due to you.  Have you forgiven yourself today?  Doc